...

what we owe to each other

(i swore i would limit the love-talk to the e-mails... i'm sorry to disappoint.)

we have been playing the "be friends after all the hell you two went through" game. at this point, we are war veterans. keeping in touch might be a sign of letting go of my old emotions. but talking to him might also be a painful reminder of the past.
he told me his sister is going through surgery. i tried to be there for him because i knew no one would. maybe i was being too empathetic.
his face disappears the second i'm not talking to him. i can't picture him inside my head. he's not mine to picture anymore...
that's a good thing... right? i like to think of it as it is.
the truth is, it's all messy right now.
even though nothing remains between us anymore,
it feels like i'm doing something bad -- like i'm committing a crime. can i really forgive and forget? will i eventually explode? only time will tell.
in the meantime, it's not like i'm just rotting thinking about him. i got a life -- and that includes a company. :)
i don't have any high expectations - but i do have high standards.
but something about this one...
he's kind of growing on me.

maybe i am playing with fire. perhaps, i am trying to find a way to merge my past and my future, in the present. a slippery slope at it's finest. but maybe, that's just what i owe to him. after all we went through, a final lending hand.

in the end, i hope it's worth it -- and that he would do the same.